As you start reading this article I have some thorough instructions for you. Immediately go into your kitchen and look for some aluminum foil. All apartments needs to be stocked with this important supply. If you can’t find any in the kitchen, just go to the local Rio de Janeiro grocery store and you’re simply sure to find some for sale. Do that now. I’m waiting.
Okay, you have the aluminum foil? Now encapsulate it around your head but in the end make a long stick of aluminum foil off the top of your head. The taller the better. This can keep them from controlling you. Okay, now that that is completed, you need to go to the penthouse level of your building, you’ll have the best reception and it will save you from the mind reading waves. This piece of real estate is the best location for you at the moment.
Now that you have taken the necessary safety measures, you should now know that even though you’ve made the decision to seek out apartments that are in Rio de Janeiro, this kind of real estate is no longer safe. Historically, from the time of Hollywood’s creation, it has been documented that aliens only go to the United States and they only speak English. Unfortunately, because Brazil is becoming a larger player on the world stage, they are also starting to pull in aliens and an invasion could be impending. Before long, your penthouse looking over Copacabana and Ipanema could be flooded with the bald green skinned rascals. You’ve been warned.
So how will you protect yourself from the alien invasion of Rio de Janeiro? Well fortunately knowledge is power, and now you know. You were lucky enough to find some aluminum foil for sale, but you can’t just let yourself be the only person to know. That would be selfish. You need to start distributing this information. So immediately, at this moment, you should go and run through the streets of Copacabana and Ipanema screaming, “Aliens are coming!”
It’s very important that you do this. The aliens aren’t here on holiday. They didn’t travel here for a vacation. They came here for a very particular piece of real estate, Earth. However, our apartments are located here, so we all have a stake in this. Last time I checked, we didn’t put the Earth up for sale.
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